Freedom For Now Or Freedom For Life
Are you choosing freedom for now, or freedom for life?
1 scoop now or many scoops later?
About a month ago I was at the mall and my daughter wanted to go to the kids play area. My wife however wanted to take her to another store to buy shoes. So we gave her the option: play now for “only a little bit” or play after shoe-shopping for “a longer time”. My 4 year old daughter paused for a minute, considered her options, asked me to confirm that she’d still get to play “today” either way, and then to my surprise decided to maximize her play time by shoe-shopping now. I was amazed and proud. Rarely do kids/young people delay instant gratification. This got me thinking of the decisions I’ve made over the last 10 years. I wasn’t perfect, but realized I had made 4 decisions that changed my life forever.
Decisions.
Due to the grace of God, some luck and great timing, my wife (then girlfriend) and I made the following 4 decisions:
- Never getting credit cards (debt) in college.
- Making it a priority to pay off a small student loan.
- Immediately saving 10% of our income in our 401k’s.
- Moving from an apartment to a single family house.
Sacrifice.
This was no easy task. We were a DINKs (double-income no kids), young, full of energy and getting very nice salaries. We could have travelled all over the world, bought fancy clothes and cars and “enjoyed life”. Instead of buying fancy new cars we kept driving our “college car”, an old beatten up ‘87 Mazda 323 with no air-conditioning. Instead of sinking deeper into debt we paid off my student loan. Instead of throwing our money down the apartment rathole we chose to buy a house which meant no money left over. But as luck would have it, this was the start of the real estate bubble. With no debt and excellent credit we eventually sold our house for a nice profit and have been doing great ever since.
Consequences.
However, many of our friends chose a different path. Not necessarily a wrong one, but one with consequences that they did not imagine. They travelled more, bought nicer clothes and cars, ate out all the time, and saved little. Now they are in their late 20’s and early 30’s and want things they cannot get; like buying a house, affording that dream wedding or sending their kids to the best private schools. I’m not saying they are miserable or unhappy but having to pass on some of these desires is a tough pill for them to swallow. It makes you look back and reflect. Was that $150 pair of jeans really worth it? Where the hell is it now anyway? Did I have to eat at the trendiest restaurant and pay $20 for lunch every day?
Realization.
There is no right or wrong answer here. The point I hope you take away from this is that there are consequences to our actions, whether we like them or not. Even deeper than that is the fact that sometimes there are consequences for our loved ones too.
Think of the guy who blew all his money drinking over the years and now wants to give his fiance the wedding of her dreams but cant. She has to settle. Or the young family whose kids are now 3 and wants to send them to an awesome private school that costs $10k a year but can’t. They have to settle for a lower quality education. This is reality. It happens to family after family, year after year.
No advice.
With all that being said, I’m not going to give you a list of things to go do to improve your finances. That won’t help anyway since lack of advice isn’t the problem. Instead I’ll share a story.
You can learn alot from a fence
When I was about 9 yrs old I climbed up on a really tall fence. I was standing on top and say my dad coming toward me. I thought I was in for it. But he didn’t yell at me, or threaten to punish me. He walked up to the fence, paused, looked at me and said. “Did you think of what could happen to you up there?” I casually said “no”. To my surprise he then asked that I do that right now. To think, and so I did. After a few moments I said “Well nothing could happen at all, or I could fall off and get hurt really bad.” He then did the unthinkable. He smiled and just walked away.
My dad has since passed away and of all my memories of him this one stands out the most. I can trace me becoming me, to this very memory 2 decades ago. I felt like an idiot that day. I chose a stupid walk on a dangerous fence without at least even thinking first. From that point on I started to think about my actions. Today I am more thoughtful and logical in everything. This blog isn’t named “Just Too Logical” for nothing.
Think.
There is no magic equation or set timeline to life. Many feel the need to party at 21, be married at 25, have kids by 28, buy a house by 30. No. You need to do whatever works for you and the life you have chosen. Even if that means temporarily living on Ramen Noodles in a 400 sq ft apartment so you can save up enough money to achieve something more rewarding. Don’t let anyone take away your choice to be different.
For most young people today, their only impression of the housing market is a bad one, after all it did just die right in front of their eyes. Unfortunately this will hold many back from owning a home which is a maturing and rewarding experience (although not for everyone). The pendulum of biting off more than you can chew is now swung to the other extreme of biting off too little to survive. We need to temper ideas such as “don’t buy a house” or “just go have fun” with one that encourages and allows young people to truly reflect and determine for themselves whats best.
My hope is that we all learn to think of and visualize the outcomes of our decisions. Don’t get distracted by the temporarily satisfying feelings of “instant gratification”. Don’t get caught up in the “idea of freedom”. Don’t just follow the crowd. Think.
